I am a Roman Catholic. My Pope is dead. He passed away at 9:37PM Vatican Time.
The intensity of my emotions is truly overwhelming. I had been crying since I learned the news this morning after having just arrived from Mannila. I am immobilized and my brain just empty, only thoughts about the enormity of this news occupying my mind.
The Pope had always been part of my spiritual life. On the surface, every time I attend mass we pray for our Pope, our Archbishop and all the clergy. However, deep within me, the Pope is part of my spiritual security. I cannot speak for all Catholics, but for me, He is the faithful’s physical connection to St. Peter and Jesus Christ and this fact has such overwhelming impact in my life that I myself cannot fathom. He is the epitome, the ideal Roman Catholic and his life is the best example on how to live one’s life as a child of God.
I saw the Pope when he visited the Philippines during the World Youth Day Celebration in the 1990s. It was a meeting that I would never forget and the first of spiritual encounters in the Catholic faith that would be the cornerstone of my spriritual and psychological security.
When the Pope visited the Philippines I was truly hard pressed to see him. Watching him on television gave me goosebumps, that was when I was truly convinced that I had to see the Pope. However, having any kind of en was next to impossible. I was not a member of any group that would have an opportunity to see Him.
When I went to the Luneta where hundreds of thousands of youth congregated to hear him say Mass he was just so far away to make any meaningful encounter with Him. On the afternoon before he was to leave the country, I heard word that He was going to pass by the UN Avenue area. I, along with Manay Rachel and our driver in the car went to the area where the Pope was to pass by. I said a little prayer to “Please Lord, let me see the Pope.” And after waiting for about 30 minutes in an area where there were not too much people (therefore more comfortable), the Pope Mobile carrying the Pope passed by, not too fast but not cruising, just enough for me to see him look at him in the eye and see him utter a blessing and make the sign of the cross that he usually does when he blesses people with his hand/palm.
At that moment, it felt like time stood still. I was so overwhelmed by the encounter that I was crying so much, Manay Rachel looked at me quizzically. But, it just took another moment for her to understand. After that, I truly felt to blessed most especially that I was also able to get about two shots of him passing by.
But more than this encounter, it is the sheer greatness of his life that truly touches even non-Catholics. It is the greatness of his passion to the Love of God that pushes the limits of the faith and became an example of what true unconditional love really is. No leader in history who has survived an assassination ever forgave his assassin. Only this Pope, my Pope.
His life is also the perfect example of leadership. He stood up for his opinions and ideals of the world never afraid of how it might affect his reputation. This is a Pope who entered a Moslem Mosque, and talked with Imams and Rabbis and Pastors. A Pope who shattered the self-righteous Catholic by saying that all people of all races are children of God and deserves human dignity.
The most striking of his words to me is that “A man shows what he stands for by his actions.” This means so much to me because I still lack this element in my life. I always told myself that I stand for this value or virtue, yet I find it so difficult to put it to action. The Pope’s example inspires every Catholic to stand up and act. It is truly important to touch people’s lives by action and not indifference. This is the greatest of his words that will always guide me. All throughout his life he has lived what he stood for. He stood for the unconditional love of God and he is so absolute about it, from being pro-life, to forgiving his assassin, to being tolerant of other faiths and by being so humble as to apologize for the Church’s sins in the history of human civilization.
I am still crying as of this writing. Mon asked me why are you crying so much? Have you not yet understood the meaning of death? No Mon, I truly understand death. It is not the end but the beginning of eternal life. For that, I am glad that the Pope has passed away and ceased the worldly suffering brought upon by his Parkinson’s Disease and all the complications it entailed. But, I am crying for the loss of a Father, someone that had touched my life personally and strengthened by Love of God. I am crying because I miss him and the loss I feel is so personal that the pain is truly unbearable. But I have joy in my heart because I know what becomes of this loss.
His example, his greatness, his Love of God, his devotion to Mary and the Rosary, his relationship with Jesus, the manifestation of the Holy Spirit in his life, his servant leadership, and most of all his great example of Humility despite his greatness shall always remain with me and shall inspire me to become a better Child of God as a devout Roman Catholic and to touch other’s life in the manner that he has touched mine.
Karol Wojtyla, Pope John Paul II, our Pope, my Pope shall live forever in my heart, soul and mind,
Viva Il Papa!
